3 Biggest Myths About Step Parent Counseling

It’s common to feel confused about what to expect when you start searching for “step parent therapy near me” or “therapy for family issues.” 

You’re not even really sure what type of support you need. 

So, you’re doing the work, and researching what your options are.  After all, knowledge is power. 

While the internet has given us a lot of valuable information, it’s also created the opportunity for misinformation. 

You may have seen movies or shows where a therapist is featured and wondered, is this what step parent therapy with a therapist in Georgetown, TX is actually like? 

Doing something new and different, even if you believe it’s going to help you, like therapy, can be scary or increase your discomfort. 

This article is here to clear up some of the biggest myths about step parent therapy for stepmoms, so you can evaluate if individual therapy in Georgetown, TX is something you want to explore.

Myth #1: If I go to step parent counseling, it will “fix” everything in my family 

While the goal of step parent counseling is to feel better and improve your life, a therapist in Georgetown, TX, is not there to change your family dynamics or the external circumstances you find yourself in being in a stepfamily. 

In fact, in most cases, my guess is, things won’t change in your stepfamily. 

Your stepfamily may be dealing with big emotions from all the people in various roles.  It may be hard to sort out who feels what and why.  Other members of your stepfamily may not even feel like there’s anything that could be improved or adjusted (which is part of the reason you’re here looking for individual counseling rather than blended family counseling.) 

A step family counselor isn’t there to “fix” something, because nothing’s broken. 

Your stepfamily is going through a life transition. 

Different people from different families are coming together under one roof, and it’s going to be hard. 

What is going on is a human experience. 

Sometimes we experience things we’re not equipped to respond to and those experiences overwhelm our capacity to cope.  Everyone has been there. 

Sometimes it happens when we’re four and we don’t get the snack we want and sometimes it happens when we’re thirty-four and we marry someone who has kids. 

In step parent counseling, you have the opportunity to accept your experiences.  Through accepting them, you’ll learn to identify which feelings are yours, feel those big emotions and respond effectively, so next time something hard comes up in your stepfamily, because it will, you’ll feel more prepared.  

Myth #2: I don’t need step parent counseling…my partner (or the kids) are the only ones who need to change

You live in a step family; and often, when I work with a stepmom, conversations start out talking about everyone else’s behavior.  “The ex does this” or “my partner does this” or “if the kids just did this.”  It’s so common, because stepmoms have fresh eyes on family dynamics, and they’re entering a whole new family structure that may have been operating in the same way for awhile. 

Gently and kindly, over time, I nudge stepmoms to think about themselves and their role in creating the family dynamic. 

Just like you’re reacting to other people’s behavior, so too are your step family members reacting to yours. 

When you realize the only person you have control over is you, then you can take your personal power back. 

The great thing is, as you start to change, it may also challenge other members in the family to change. 

Think about a mobile above a baby’s crib.  If you move one piece of the mobile, then the whole mobile shifts balance.  A similar thing happens in stepfamilies.  When one member changes, in this case you, by attending step parent counseling, it’s going to shift things in your step family. 

This can feel disorienting or unfamiliar at first, especially for other family members who may not realize what’s going on. 

You may learn skills like assertive communication, where you’re expressing clearly what works or doesn’t work for you in your stepmom role.  Or maybe you’re learning to say “no” when something comes up with the kids and everyone’s looking at you to do the thing. 

No doubt, if these are new behaviors in your relationship with your partner and as a stepmom, there could be some adjustment required. 

And that’s the point of step parent counseling…you’ll have someone to walk along side you as you move from chaos to peace in your step family.   

Myth #3: I will have to be in step parent counseling forever

Fortunately, this just isn’t true. 

Step parent counseling is great when you need it and for as long as you need it.  Typically this is between six and twelve months.  While it may feel like an eternity to you, in the scheme of things, it’s a relatively short amount of time. 

My goal when I’m working with a stepmom in step parent counseling is to be a neutral human in your life who allows you space to feel seen, heard, and understood, and practice the skills to respond to big emotions and hard things. 

I don’t want you to be in therapy forever. 

I want you to feel better and move forward in your life. 

That being said, the great thing about developing a relationship with a therapist in Georgetown, TX is, you have an opportunity to have someone know you and your family dynamics, who will be there if you need support again in the future. 

While you won’t need to be in step parent counseling forever, like a car, sometimes our brains need a tune-up. 

Let’s say you came to see me early on in your stepfamily journey.  You were able to process the adjustments, practice more peace, and speak up for yourself, so you stopped therapy.  Then a couple years later, you and your partner decide you want to have an “ours” baby, except you’re struggling with infertility and the challenge of being a childless stepmom. 

Since you already have the experience of working with me, it makes it easier to return to step parent counseling to learn how to respond to this new experience you’re going through. 

See how that goes?

In Conclusion

I hope this article helped to dispel the three biggest myths about step parenting counseling in Georgetown, TX. 

Starting something new, like choosing to seek therapy for yourself can bring up a lot of feelings.  You may feel overwhelmed by all the options in therapists or styles of therapy, confused about how to select a great therapist for yourself, or unclear about what to ask a therapist during the first phone call. 

Finding a good match for you is a process.  While it can definitely trigger feelings of overwhelm and insecurity, the investment in time and energy is so valuable. 

The greatest indicator of a stepmom’s success in step parenting counseling is the relationship you have with the therapist. 

If after reading this, you are interested in becoming a less chaotic and more peaceful stepmom, by attending step parent counseling in Georgetown, TX, then call 737-808-4888 for a FREE 15-minute consultation. 

Are you an introvert who likes to avoid the phone?  Then send a message through my secure contact form, and I’ll reach out to schedule a time to talk.